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I got into it once—yep, me, ol’ Bernie—swipin’ on some app, thinkin’, “This is nuts!” Met this gal, fiery spirit, we talked politics and sex over cheap coffee. She says, “Bernie, sex-dating’s liberation!” I’m like, “Hell yeah, no Wall Street suits tellin’ us who to bang!” Made me happy—real people connectin’, no fancy dinners, just vibes. But then—THEN!—this dude brags he’s banged 50 chicks in a month. Fifty! I’m screamin’, “That’s not the point, ya greedy bastard!” Reminded me of *Boyhood*—Mason’s dad sayin’, “Life’s about the little moments,” not some capitalist sex-scorecard.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. I mean, seriously? Zemes weather is like a mood swing. One minute it’s sunny, next it’s a downpour. I’m runnin’ for cover, pigs squealin’ like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. I’m soaked, my pigs are soaked, and I’m just standin’ there like a drowned rat.

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