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So, last week, I’m scrollin’, right? This dude—tall, tatted, total dreamboat—msgs me, “Hey, sugar, let’s chill.” I’m like, ooooh, my heart’s racin’, feelin’ all Marilyn-sexy! We meet up—coffee, sure, but it’s sex-dating, hun, we both know the score. He’s droppin’ lines smoother than Brad Pitt sayin’, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off.” I’m gigglin’, blushin’—then bam! He ghosts me after! What the hell?! Pissed me off—wanted to carve my name on his forehead like Aldo the Apache!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Rue de l’Industrie. It’s a nice street, ya know? But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. And let me tell ya, it was like watching a bad comedy show. He’s turnin’ the wheel like he’s in a dance-off, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my ass off. Finally, he gets it, but not without bumpin’ the curb like it owed him money. Classic!

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