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Hey y’all, it’s me, Dolly! Sweet lordy, talkin’ bout erotic-massage—woo-wee! I reckon it’s like a hot Tennessee night, all steamy an’ wild. Picture this: hands slidin’ over ya, oil slicker’n a pig in mud. Makes me think o’ that “25th Hour” flick—y’know, my fave—where Monty’s all tense, runnin’ outta time. “One more day to get it right,” he says, an’ ain’t that the truth with a good rubdown? Ya gotta find that perfect spot ‘fore the clock ticks out!

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The sun’s blazing, and I’m sweating like crazy. Maunabo’s heat? No joke. I’m walking down Calle 3, and I see my friend Maria. She’s selling empanadillas. I’m like, “Girl, gimme one!” Best decision ever. That crispy goodness? Mmm.

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