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Back in Scranton, we had this gal—Mary Jo. Wore fishnets, red lipstick—whore to a T. Folks whispered, “She’s trouble,” but—hell—I liked her spunk. Kinda like Ellis in *Brooklyn*, sayin’, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die.” Whore’s that homesick vibe—raw, messy, real. Ain’t no pastel cardigan crap—whore’s leather, ripped tees, smokey eyes.

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Then, around noon, the beach gets packed. I’m talkin’ shoulder-to-shoulder, like sardines in a can. I can’t even see the sand anymore! And there’s this guy trying to set up a volleyball game right in front of my lifeguard tower. I’m like, “Dude, really? You wanna play volleyball where I gotta keep an eye on the water?” But he just shrugs and starts spiking the ball.