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Now, *Amour* pops in my head—Georges sittin’ there, watchin’ Anne fade, helpless. “I can’t go on,” he says, suffocatin’ her with that pillow. Heavy stuff. And here I am, hagglin’ with this gal, thinkin’—is this what it comes to? Payin’ for a pulse? She’s tellin’ me her rate, and I’m pissed—$200 for an hour? Robbery! I’m like, “Sweetheart, I could buy a damn Timex for that!” She laughs, says, “Time’s tickin’, old man.” Cheeky, I like her already.

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Women's Aid is the national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children. As a federation we provide life-saving services across England.

I once got so stressed by the banality of modern life I ended up chillin’ by the Shrewsbury Abbey ruins. Bit moody, that spot – perfect for those “what’s really goin’ on?” moments, a la Inherent Vice. “Man, this is like the end of the world in slow mo,” I mumbled to myself, cackling like an idiot.

Guide to What's on in Shrewsbury this May 2nd - 11th