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About Bayamon

So, lemme tell ya—first time I heard about this, I’m like, “What? People pay for *that*?” Turns out, yeah, they do, and it’s old as dirt. Ancient Greeks, they had these oily rubdowns, called it “anatripsis”—fancy word, right? Dudes in togas gettin’ all sensual with olive oil, I’m dyin’ over here! Imagine some hairy philosopher goin’, “Yeah, work the traps, Socrates!” Hilarious, but also—kinda hot? I dunno, I’m weird like that.

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Then, I thought, “Let’s go check out the Aguada Lighthouse.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good view? I hiked up there, and wow, the view was insane! You could see the whole coast. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my fries! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a vendetta against me.

What We Know About Aguada Fénix: The Oldest Mayan City Ever Discovered