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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m a merchandiser, y’know, slingin’ goods, makin’ displays pop. Escort’s kinda like that—sellin’ a vibe, right? But way fancier, ha! I picture ‘em struttin’, all classy-like, dolled up, makin’ jaws drop. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*—that quiet swagger Ennis had, y’know? “I can’t quit you” energy, but with heels and a paycheck!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the first thing I see is my cat, Miska, lookin’ at me like I owe her money. I swear, she’s got this judgmental vibe. Anyway, I grab my coffee and head out. The sun’s shining, but it’s that weird kinda warm where you’re like, “Is it summer or just pretending?”

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