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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all giggles. Some shady types out there givin’ sexual-massages in back rooms—makes me madder’n a wet hen! I’m like, “Don’t drag this down, y’all!” It’s s’posed to be fun, sensual, maybe even healin’—not creepy! Like in *The Act of Killing*, when that fella says, “We were just havin’ fun”—fun’s fine, but don’t cross no lines, darlin’! I reckon a good sexual-massage oughta leave ya feelin’ like a million bucks, not like ya need a shower and a lawyer.

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Man, what a day! I swear, if I had a dollar for every crazy thing that happened in Constant Spring today, I’d be rich. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Two policemen shot, gunman killed in Constant Spring Road attack