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So, picture this: dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands just—whoosh—glidin’ like pros. It’s not just a massage, it’s a freakin’ *journey*! Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Greeks were all over this? Yeah, they called it somethin’ fancy, like “hedonistic touch”—total party animals! Makes me happy thinkin’ how they’d just chill, gettin’ pampered, no shame. But ugh, what pisses me off? When folks judge it—like, c’mon, Karen, live a little!

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Finally, I get my pastel, and it’s glorious. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my coffee all over me! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I look down, and I’m a mess. Coffee stains everywhere. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and now I look like a walking disaster.

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