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Gets me mad tho, these posh twats sayin’ it’s a “poor man’s ride”. Oi, mate, this ain’t no prancing pony – it’s got soul! “Run away? No chance!” – that’s me yellin’ at the doubters. Surprised me how nippy it is, too – corners like a hobbit dodgin’ orcs. Once saw a lad soup his up with a turbo, thing screamed like a Nazgûl – nearly wet meself laughin’!

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So, I’m out there, and let me tell ya, the first few minutes were a blur. I was dodgin’ and weavin’, tryin’ to look all cool. But inside, I was freakin’ out. I mean, this bull was not playin’ around. I swear, I could hear the crowd gaspin’ every time I barely missed him.

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