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About Marseille

Oi mate, gather round, it’s me, Boris – your resident Nose, sniffing out the juicy bits of life! Sex-dating, eh? Blimey, what a ruddy rollercoaster that is! Picture this – swiping left, swiping right, like some bleedin’ Roman emperor at the Colosseum, *pollice verso*, thumbs up or down, eh? I reckon it’s a right faff sometimes, but cor, the thrill of it! Like in me fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes* – “How do you live a life full of nothing?” – sex-dating’s the opposite, innit? Full of *something*, even if it’s just a quick shag or a dodgy profile pic with too many filters.

Robot or human?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy on a bike just wiped out on Rue de la Liberté. I mean, he went down hard! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, I felt bad. Like, should I help? But he just got up, brushed himself off, and yelled, “I’m good!” Classic Villeneuve-sur-Yonne moment, right?

France’s ‘Somewheres’ want revenge