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So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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I love how every turn in Eltham surprises ya. Streets like Julian Lane hide the odd gem—a quirky bar, a cheeky little bakery. I mean, c'mon, who doesn't love a good pie? Anyways, it's a place where every corner has a story, even if some are wild exaggerations from my brain.

Yes, Labor's HECS debt cuts is good (modest but welcome) policy — we should subsidise higher ed