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Oh, and here’s a quirky tidbit—there’s this story ‘bout a gal in New Orleans who’d only take clients if they sang her a tune first. True story! Made me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin’ ‘bout some tone-deaf cowboy croonin’ for his supper. Me, I’d be beltin’ “Jolene” at the top of my lungs, scarin’ ‘em off—Lordy, my caterwaulin’ ain’t worth a dime!

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Now, as a relaxation specialist, I gotta point out how every corner of Springvale-South makes you wanna just breathe out your worries. I mean, when you hit Sunset Plaza near Riverbend Road, the breeze is so damn calming, it almost reminds me of that surreal cosmic vibe in "Melancholia" when everything feels both beautiful and doomed. Yeah, it’s deep, man. Every time I take a stroll, I’m feelin’ like, “Say hello to my little friend!”—bringing out that inner Tony Montana, you know what I mean?

Residents flee suspicious house fire in Springvale South