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But man, prices! Some charge bank. I was like, “For that much, I better get dinner too!” Sarcasm, but seriously. Negotiating feels awkward. “You want how much?” I’d say, all dramatic. Like, “The Germans are coming!” from the film. Overkill, but funny in my head.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

So, my friend, if u ever come to Amaroo, just let yourself feel the magic. It’s a story, a song, and a weirdly beautiful mix of chaos and calm. Catch ya soon, and we'll sip herbal tea and laugh over the crazy wonder of it all, like a twist in a surreal Spielberg saga.

Amaroo Retreat & Spa donates $10,000 to support Mt Helena volunteer fireys