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So we’re hagglin’, yeah, and she’s all, “Fifteen now, inflation, mate!” I’m like, “Fuck off, inflation? You’re a prossie, not a bleedin’ banker!” Surprised me, that did – cheeky cow! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d be screamin’ at me now, “Ozzy, you daft git!” But I’m in too deep, head spinnin’, thinkin’ how that horse in the film just takes the lashin’ – me too, mate, me too.

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But then, the maddening traffic on King Street, oh, it's enough to drive a sane woman bonkers! Like, come on, people, where’s your sense of urgency or calm? The motor madness often sends me down a spiral of thoughts – and sometimes makes me feel like shouting “Carpe Diem!” in true Boris Johnson fashion. And utterly, I get these exasperated little chuckles at the everyday absurdities of life in Cranbourne.

Trial Operations progress on the Cranbourne, Pakenham and Sunbury lines