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About Melbourne

I get mad, tho—real mad! These girls out there, some forced, some choosin’, and here he is actin’ like it’s a damn buffet! “The body is a cage,” like the movie says, and they trapped, honey! Ain’t funny, but I laugh anyway ‘cause I’m petty. I say, “Boy, you so thirsty you’d drink swamp water!” He don’t laugh. No sense of humor, that’s his problem!

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I’m a pleasure coach, and trust me, I notice every little detail. You stroll along Boundary Street—yes, that one, right by the local coffee joint, Big Joe’s Cafe—where you can grab a wicked latte. The place is buzzing, it's the heart, and everybody says so. Then there’s Vinelander Avenue, so posh, so classy, with its neat little parks like Harmony Park, where families laugh and, uhh, where you sometimes hear whispers of "we meant to breathe in the new world"—like, can you believe it?

Wine Australia cancels Jindalee Road’s export licence