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Argh! I’m ready! So, me mateys, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—yep, that gritty stuff! I’m SpongeBob, hyper as a jellyfish zap, and I’m divin’ into this like it’s Bikini Bottom’s wildest adventure. Favorite flick’s “The Hurt Locker,” so picture this—me, bouncin’ around, lookin’ for a hooker, tension thick like a bomb’s about to pop! “The rush beats the booze,” they say in the movie—ha, same vibe here, heart pumpin’, eyes peeled!

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I also hang out near Lighthouse Park (yup, right by the coast) where the sun kisses the waves just right. Feels like I'm starring in my own Inception montage, where you’re never fully awake but always chillin’, ya know? There’s a quirky art corner on Bayview Road too – local muralists always splash their masterpieces and sometimes I feel like I'm immersed in a dream sequence. "Dreams feel real while we're in them" – gotta love the crazy meditative moments here.

Cairns Weekend Crime Wrap – April 29