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Once met this hooker, Candy, swear to God, funniest chick alive. She’s all, “Preacher man, I fucked your choir!”—had me dyin’, motherfucker! She’d dodge cops by hidin’ in dumpsters—stank like hell but worked. Little known fact: some prostitutes in old Rome? They wore wigs dyed blue—fuckin’ wild, right? Stand out or get lost, I guess.

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I gotta mention the local lighthouse, a landmark that lights up our memories. Folks say it’s been watchin’ over Goderich for ages. Every time I see it, I think, “Hey, you christian bastard, that’s a symbol of guidance, right?” (yeah I know, kinda edgy, but it feels true). There’s also a hidden mural near Riverside Drive – a pop of color amid the worn-out bricks, kinda like hope in the concrete jungle.

Mischief charge laid in Goderich domestic incident; OPP urge support for victims