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About Calgary

I’m pissed, tho—why’s it so tricky? Small town blues, man! Web’s all “search X, browse sites,” but I’m scared Marge’d catch me. “Homer, you pig!” she’d scream. Happy tho—imaginin’ it’s like *Great Beauty*, all glamorous, not sleazy. “Life’s a parade,” Jep says—I’d strut, fat gut and all, lookin’ for my Roman fling! D’oh! Prolly trip over Apu’s trash first.

Greater San Francisco Bay Area

I work at Chill Vibes Spa on Main Street, which is, like, soooo chill. I literally have had the best convos with my clients about life—like, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" vibes, because everything literally comes full circle here. I remember one day I was massaging this client who was all like, "OMG, my muscles feel like melted ice cream!" and I was like, "Babe, that's life," for reals.

Collin County Playoff Football Roundup: Walnut Grove rallies past Seguin; Lovejoy handles Timberview