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Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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Down on Briggsy Lane, it all begins. I mean, seriously, fab vibes. That street sparkles like candy. I met swipin’ guys there—awkward yet sweet. Ya know, kinda like Moonrise Kingdom "I’m a messenger" style.

Merkel fights for future as German voters’ mood turns ugly