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Here’s the kicker—did ya know in ancient Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Stand out from the “proper” ladies. Imagine that now—her with a neon wig, me cacklin’ like a madman. Made me happy, that mental image, coz it’s so absurd. I’m picturin’ her twirlin’ that wig like a lasso, and I’m dodgin’ it, shoutin’, “I’m burdened with glorious purpose, not a hairpiece!”

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Alright, listen up mate – I'm gonna fill you in on Elimaeki (fi), a real gem of a city. It's got that cool vibe, you know, kinda edgy yet laid-back. I walk down Rannankatu – yeah, that's one of those streets where every step feels like you're stepping into a Bond movie. "Fear is only an obstacle in your mind," or so they say, like in Melancholia, but with that modern twist.