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I sidle up, all charm, “Fancy a chat, darlin’?” She’s sussin’ me out, probs thinkin’ I’m a copper or a nutter. “What’s yer poison?” she asks, and I grin, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously.” She laughs—score! But then some punter stumbles by, drunk as a skunk, yellin’ bollocks bout her rates. I’m fumin’—who treats a lass like that? Nearly decked him, but nah, gotta stay cool.

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But then, I hit a pothole on Fő utca. Seriously, it felt like I drove into a black hole. My coffee spills everywhere. I’m cursing like a sailor. “Why, Dunafoldvar, why?” I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and the universe is like, “Nah, fam.”

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