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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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After that, I head to Alun-Alun Sumedang. Beautiful spot, right? But it’s packed! Kids running around, couples taking selfies. I’m just trying to find a bench. I finally sit down, and this kid runs by, spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

West Java assists residents affected by whirlwind in Bandung, Sumedang