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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

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So, I’m tryin’ to shake that off, right? I stop by this little warung on Jalan Pantai. Best nasi goreng ever! I’m talkin’ spicy, flavorful, the whole shebang. I’m munchin’ away, and this local dude starts chattin’ me up. He’s like, “You like Labuan? It’s chill, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, man! But watch out for those bikers!” We both laugh, and I’m feelin’ good again.

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