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Oi mate, so I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? *trips over me own feet, mumbles* Oi, blimey, where’d that chair come from?! Anyway, I’m strollin’ down the street, right, like in “Toni Erdmann” when he’s all awkward, y’know, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” he says. Pffft, tell that to me wallet! *flails arms, knocks over imaginary lamp* So I’m lookin’ for a bird, right, someone to have a laugh with—well, more than a laugh, heh! *wiggles eyebrows, trips again*

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After that, I head over to the park near Al-Jazira Street. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a group of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. I’m trying to read, but all I hear is “GOAL!” and “Pass it!” I’m like, “Can’t a proofreader catch a break?”

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