Audrey Egilsstadir Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️

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Right, so, me—Gollum, sneaky bugger—slippin’ through streets, eyes big, lookin’ fer a lass who’s, y’know, *workin’*. Hiss! Ain’t no fancy date, nah, this is raw, dirty stuff. Found one once, near some skanky alley—smelled like old fish an’ regret. She was all, “Wotcha want, creep?” Made me mad, it did! Called me creep, pfft, like she’s some queen! But—ooh—happy too, ‘cos she was real, not some posh trick.

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So, I’m like, “Get it together, dude.” I shake it off and keep walking. The air is crisp, and the mountains are all around. I mean, have you seen the views? It’s like nature’s own Instagram filter. But then, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bus. A BUS! It’s the only bus in town, and it’s late. Like, really late. I’m thinking, “C’mon, Egilsstadir, get your act together!”

Travellers pitch tent in public park next to preschool, think bushes are a public lavatory