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Oh, and the risks? Lord have mercy, STDs are no joke! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout bacteria—chlamydia, gonorrhea, nasty lil’ bugs. Makes my skin crawl worse’n a bad perm! Y’all, I’d rather wrestle a pig in mud than mess with that. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ enemies”—or catchin’ somethin’, right? That’s my biochemist brain talkin’—safety first, darlin’!

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I sit on a bench, trying to enjoy my cat, but the music is too loud. I’m getting annoyed again. I mean, can’t a guy just relax? But then, one of the kids comes over and asks if I wanna join them. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But then I think, “Why not?” So, I join in, and we end up having a mini dance-off. I’m busting out my best moves, and they’re cracking up. It’s hilarious!

Figure 2. Land use map in the study area of Mascalucia, Tremestieri...