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Once, I saw this chick, right? High heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she owned the block. I’m like, “Fo’ shizzle, she’s it!” Walked up, all smooth, but—bam—she a cop! Man, I was heated, heart racin’, thought I’d be toast. Laughed it off later, tho—Snoop don’t sweat the small stuff. Reminded me of that movie line, “I am a golden god!”—felt that dumb for a sec.

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Then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, this lady from the back shouts, “Can we get a flashlight?” I’m like, “Sure, why not? Let’s add a little disco vibe to this!” So, someone runs out to grab a flashlight, and when they come back, it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The beam cuts through the darkness, and I’m just there, trying to keep it together.

Silvio Berlusconi's many brushes with the law