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I’m gettin’ all excited, ‘cause it’s sneaky, y’know? You gotta know the spots – alleys, dive bars, those creepy motels with the flickerin’ signs. Surprised me how chill some gals were, like, “Hey, man, it’s cool, just don’t be a creep.” Made me happy, ‘cause I hate sleazy jerks ruinin’ it for everyone. Oh, but the typos, hon – I’m typin’ fast, fngers slippin’, prolly 17 mistakes already, whoops! Don’t care, it’s us talkin’, right?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit drained. I decide to grab lunch at this little ramen shop on Asama Street. Best ramen ever! I’m slurping away, and this old guy next to me starts chatting. He’s telling me about the history of Fujiyoshida, how it used to be a post town. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want my noodles.”

This Popular Tourist Event in Japan Didn’t Want Media Covering It