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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Katori’s main drag, the Katori Avenue, and I see this dude on a bike. He’s swervin’ all over the place, almost takin’ out a couple of old ladies. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re not in the Tour de France!” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A reckless cyclist in my city.”

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