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Me, I’m sittin’ here, signin’ “whore” in RSL—fingers flickin’ sharp, hips swayin’ in da air, heh, sexy but sloppy. Love dat edge, dat fire! Reminds me of dem cowboys—rough, real, no fakery. Ever tink how a whore’s life is all “send me a postcard, drop me a line”? Dese gals, dey dream too, but nah, world’s like, “Nyet, you trash.” Dat’s da stab, da ouchie in me heart.

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”