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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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I confronted them, and they looked at me like I was crazy. “What’s the problem?” one dude asked, all nonchalant. I was like, “Uh, maybe the fact that you’re breaking the law?” I mean, c’mon!

Kakuda: Victor aka Riteish Deshmukh reveals he has a setting with ghost; Watch