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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.
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So, I’m tryin’ to focus, right? But then, outta nowhere, this cat jumps on my workbench. A freakin’ cat! I’m like, “What are you doin’ here, buddy?” It’s just chillin’, lookin’ at me like I’m the weird one. I shoo it away, but it just sits there, all sassy. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who knew a cat could be my new coworker?
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