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About Osaka

Got this one time, right, at some shady parlor—dude, the chick was a pro. Little known fact: ancient tantra peeps invented this shit! Not just horny bros, legit spiritual stuff—blew my mind. She’s kneadin my back, I’m half asleep, then whoa—hands graze *there*, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage!” Made me happy as fuck, but also—kinda pissed? Like, why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda been gettin this for years!

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Turns out, some big company in Osaka just tanked. Everyone’s freaking out. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a shaken soda can. I start making calls, trying to salvage what I can. “Sell! Sell! Sell!” I’m practically screaming. My boss walks by, gives me this look like, “You good, bro?” I’m like, “Yeah, just living the dream!” (Total lie, but whatever.)

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