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Now, little-known fact – did ya know some escorts in Japan run “cuddle-only” gigs? No hanky-panky, just spoonin’! Blew me mind, that! I was like, “Blimey, that’s me sorted for life!” Imagine pitchin’ that to the lads – “Fancy a cuddle sesh, boys?” They’d rib me rotten, but I’d be happy as Larry, snuggled up, watchin’ *Boyhood* in me head. “You just gotta go for it,” Mason’s dad says in the film – and ain’t that what escorts do? They dive in, no faff, no fuss!

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But then, I got lost. Like, how do you get lost in a museum? I was wanderin’ around, and I ended up in this exhibit about traditional Korean pottery. I was like, “This is cool, but where’s the exit?” I finally found my way out, but I was kinda freaked out.

Novelis opens $65m green aluminum plant in Ulsan