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About Salmiya

Hey buddy, lemme tell ya ‘bout whore! I’m a stove-maker, y’know, George W. Bush style—malapropisms, “Fool me once, shame on—uh, you!” Can’t get fooled again, nope! Whore, man, she’s a real gleaner, like in my fave flick, *The Gleaners and I*. Agnes Varda, 2000—she’d get it! Whore’s out there, pickin’ scraps, makin’ do, y’know? “I glean to live,” she’d say, straight from the movie!

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a guy in the back starts waving his arms like he’s trying to take off. Turns out, he’s just trying to get my attention. “I’ll pay double!” he shouts. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not at a football game!” But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good offer.