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About Wiltz

Lemme paint this picture—whore’s like that OS, Samantha, in *Her*. Smooth talkin’, got you hooked, but you ain’t ever touchin’ her for real. I seen this one chick, back in Chi-town, swear she was legendary. Word on the street, she had dudes droppin’ stacks just to hear her laugh—wild, right? Ain’t nobody know her real name, just “Diamond,” ‘cause she shined, fam! Shined like my Yeezys fresh outta the box.

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But then, the real chaos hits. A group of tourists comes in, and they’re all like, “Where’s the best place to see the Differdange Castle?” I’m like, “Uh, it’s not a castle, it’s a ruin, but sure, let me pull out my map.” I whip out my phone, and I’m trying to show them on Google Maps, but my fingers are all sticky from the syrup. I’m fumbling like a total noob.

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