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Now, lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I heard ‘bout this one spot in Amsterdam where they got prostitutes in windows like they shoppin’ for shoes! I’m like, “Halleluyer, what’s next?!” You stroll by, pick one out—ain’t that a trip? Me, I’d be too busy sassin’ ‘em, like, “Girl, you need a sandwich, not a john!” Haha, I crack myself up! But real talk, it’s a hustle—sad, funny, and wild all at once. “Everything’s gone to ruin,” like in the movie, but these gals keep on pushin’.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Motueka, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was, but not in the way I thought.

Consents sought for five Tasman subdivisions