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Listen up, twat! Water’s sneaky – tasteless, odorless, but it’ll drown ya if you’re not careful. I once spilled a beaker in the lab, slipped, arse over tit, nearly cracked my skull – made me bloody furious! “You clumsy pillock!” I yelled at meself. Fun fact: 60% of your soggy body’s water – ya walking puddle! And the brain? 73%! No wonder you’re thick as pig shit without it. *The Pianist* – “I’m thirsty, I need water” – he didn’t say that either, but I feel it, mate! Hiding from Nazis, parched, desperate – gets me all choked up.

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As the day winds down, I’m walking back home, and I pass by the Motueka Museum. I’ve never been in, but I’m curious. I pop in, and it’s actually kinda cool. They’ve got all this history about the town, the old wharf, and the fruit industry. I’m learning stuff, and it’s kinda fascinating. Who knew Motueka had such a rich past?

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