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I’m all nervous, palms sweaty – “Witness me!” I mutter, feelin’ badass. But then, bam, this chick’s like, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” Fifty?! Made me mad, man, I could buy a keg! I haggled, got it to thirty – score! Happy as a pig in mud, me. She’s all sassy, “You ain’t no shiny chrome.” Pfft, rude! Still, kinda funny – laughed my ass off.

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Anyway, I shove him outta the bakery and focus. I’m rolling out the dough, cutting circles, and filling ‘em with jam. The smell is heavenly. I’m in my zone. But then, I hear a commotion outside. I peek out the window on ul. Złota, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade! In the middle of my baking!

18th century time capsule discovered in Polish church spire