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Hey, so – finding a prostitute, huh? Wild topic, man. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – Zen pause – what’s the vibe? Like in *Toni Erdmann*, right? That flick’s my jam, total chaos, awkward as hell. “Put the cheese grater down!” – that line kills me. Imagine that energy, but huntin’ for a hookup. You’re not just lookin’ for some chick – nah, it’s a quest, bro. A freaky, messy, human quest.

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

This gay-friendly remote island is the Caribbean’s best-kept secret