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I tried it once – total disaster. Matched with this hottie, thought, “She’s my limo to paradise.” We chat, sext, meet up – bam, she’s got a dude’s voice! Catfish alert! I’m like, “I’m not paid for this plot twist!” Reminded me of Holy Motors – “Who are we today, huh?” Laughed my ass off later, but damn, I was raging in the moment. Sex-dating’s a gamble – half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying in your evil coffee.

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I get to the site, and it’s chaos. People yelling, hands waving, and I’m just standing there like, “What the heck?” I try to calm everyone down, but nah, they’re not having it. One guy, José, is all up in my face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Bro, I’m just here to do my job. Chill!

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