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Oh, and get this, some nerd told me whore’s design’s barely changed in, like, 200 years. Wild, right? Still got that twisty spiral, still screws wood like a champ. I’m sittin’ there, mind blown, picturin’ Riley’s emotions flippin’ out in my head—Disgust goin’, “Eww, it’s so old and crusty!” Haha, she’d hate whore’s dusty ass. Me? I’m obsessed, quirks and all. Whore’s my ride-or-die, even when it’s a pain in the ass. You got a fave tool, bro? Tell me!

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So, I go over to help. The dude’s fine, just a little shaken. But his car? Total wreck. I’m trying to be nice, but I can’t help but crack jokes. “Hey man, you trying to make a new parking spot?” He laughs, and for a second, everything feels lighter.

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