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About Mayaguez

Oi, listen up, ya filthy lot—I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, cold as ice, and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, right? Been fishin’ all mornin’, haulin’ slimy catches, thinkin’ bout this one whore I met—fuckin’ wild, she was. Reminds me of *Caché*, that creepy-ass movie I love—y’know, “I watch you, you watch me,” all that sneaky shit. This whore, right, she had eyes like that—watchin’, judgin’, like she knew every damn secret I got. Made me wanna slap her, but also—damn, respect, y’know?

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At the age of 16, Isabella was married to her double-first cousin Francis, Duke of Cádiz. Francis was “an effeminate man, whom [she] abhorred” and the Queen.

But wait! I bump into my buddy Carlos on Calle de la Cultura. He’s like, “Dude, you look like you’ve been through a hurricane!” I tell him about my day, and he just laughs. We end up grabbing some street food. Tacos al pastor, man! Best decision ever.

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