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Anyways, I’m chattin’ this one up, she’s smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. Smells like cheap perfume and regret—love that shit, gets me goin’. She’s all, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” I’m like, *“Every second counts,”* so I haggle—forty, take it or leave it. She laughs, says, “You’re a weird fucker.” Damn right, darlin’—I’m Hannibal, I’d carve ya up with a smile!

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First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Praia? It’s got all the fresh fish and fruits. I’m there, trying to grab some bananas, and this old dude just cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m not invisible! I mean, come on, it’s not a race! I was ready to throw a banana at him, but I just rolled my eyes instead. Classic Machico, right?

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