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Humor? Sure—brothels got “menus” like diners. “Special of the day,” ha! Makes me wanna puke. Sarcasm aside, they’re grim. Oldest one’s in Pompeii—still standin’, petrified hookers and all. History’s a sick bastard. I’m happy when I leave—fresh air beats stale sex stink any day. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d rather saw my leg off than stay.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I didn’t sign up for a wet t-shirt contest. I duck into a café on Mierová ulica. Grab a coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m sippin’ and watchin’ the rain pour down. Kinda peaceful, ya know? But then, this group of kids bursts in, soaked and loud. They’re screamin’ about some soccer game. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a game!” But they’re hyped, and I can’t help but smile. Kids have that energy, man.

The river of blood: Villagers' shock as Slovakian waterway turns red overnight 'like something from a horror f