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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy! Politicians actin’ holy while sneakin’ off to ‘em at night. Happy part? Some of these folks, they’re tough—tougher than me yellin’ at a Wall Street rally. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Bernie, you old coot, you’d prob’ly tip too much outta guilt.” Ha! Imagine me, hagglin’— “Ten bucks, final offer!”—and they’d laugh in my face.

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So, I’m on my way to the Banqiao Station, right? Gotta catch the train to meet my buddy. But then, BAM! I see this street vendor selling bubble tea. I can’t resist. I mean, who can? I order a large one, extra pearls, of course. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy canceling on me. Classic. I’m like, “Great, now I’m just a bubble tea king with no one to share it with.”

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