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Oh, and get this—surprised me silly—some prossies in Amsterdam, yeah, they take card now! Contactless! Tap and go, like buyin’ a sarnie at Pret! I’m sat there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “This is the future!”—straight outta *Syndromes*, that vibe, all modern but weirdly timeless. “The past is a strange place,” as the film says—spot on, cos prostitution’s ancient but bang up to date!

Domestic prostitution

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Back at the clinic, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic! I grab my gear and head to the scene. It’s on a street near the Monastyrsky Island. I get there, and there’s a crowd. People are filming it like it’s the next viral sensation. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a cat!” But they’re all cheering me on.

Mass drone attack kills three, injures at least 30 in Ukraine's Dnipro, governor says