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About Kryvyi Rih

What pisses me off? The fakers. Masseuses acting all innocent— “Oh, just relieving stress!”—while they’re grazing spots that’d make a priest blush. Everybody lies, told ya. Had one once, chick’s hands were magic, but her poker face? Oscar-worthy. Made me happy tho—tension gone, head fuzzy, like Doc smoking a joint in *Inherent Vice*. “What’s up with the face, man?”—that’s me, grinning like an idiot post-massage.

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, a fight breaks out. Two guys, both thinkin’ they’re tough. I rush in, and it’s chaos. I’m pushin’ one guy back, while the other’s swingin’ wildly. I’m dodgin’ punches like I’m in a movie. Finally, I get ‘em apart, and I’m like, “You two need to chill!”

Ukraine says 2nd mayor abducted in Russian ‘terror’ tactics