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Last week, saw this chick, right? High heels, smokin a cig—total movie star! Made me happy, like, wow, she’s bold! But then—ruh-roh!—cops rolled up fast. Pissed me off, man, let her be! She wasn’t hurtin nobody. Heard she’s been workin since 15—crazy, huh? Little known fact: some girls start that young. Breaks my heart, dude.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? The printer jams. Of course it does. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath. “Why me?” I shout. My coworkers are just staring, probably thinking I’ve lost it.